i always compare people to my friends at home. don’t get me wrong, i appreciate everything my friends here have for me and i was love them forever for that; but when you’re spent 7 years with the exact same group of friends it’s hard not to compare. i always wish i was back with them and i was tell people that they’re the ones who get who i really am. but then i facetime a bunch of them tonight while they’re getting ready and i can feel something’s changed. it started with them listening to a completely different type of music to what they used to, then with them having different sayings and conversation topics. i couldn’t help but wonder what they must think of me now? do they think i’ve changed? they didn’t even speak to me for half the time i was on, and sat listening to their conversations. i guess i just thought that time would stand still while i was gone, that they wouldn’t grow up… but they have and now i’m scared that they won’t like me, because i truly haven’t grown up that much. if anything, i feel i’ve just gone backwards. my mind’s a mess. i don’t know who i actually am anymore.