Sometimes in li…

Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you’ll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding, but there’s also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who’s been standing beside you all along.

Lost.

i always compare people to my friends at home. don’t get me wrong, i appreciate everything my friends here have for me and i was love them forever for that; but when you’re spent 7 years with the exact same group of friends it’s hard not to compare. i always wish i was back with them and i was tell people that they’re the ones who get who i really am. but then i facetime a bunch of them tonight while they’re getting ready and i can feel something’s changed. it started with them listening to a completely different type of music to what they used to, then with them having different sayings and conversation topics. i couldn’t help but wonder what they must think of me now? do they think i’ve changed? they didn’t even speak to me for half the time i was on, and sat listening to their conversations. i guess i just thought that time would stand still while i was gone, that they wouldn’t grow up… but they have and now i’m scared that they won’t like me, because i truly haven’t grown up that much. if anything, i feel i’ve just gone backwards. my mind’s a mess. i don’t know who i actually am anymore. 

Happy Easter!

Easter has a warmer glow,
Spring, a brighter touch,
Because I’m sharing them with you…
The one I love so much.
 
These Happy Easter wishes
Are especially for you;
A great big hug & a few light kisses
Thrown in for good measure too.
Have a super holiday
And know that I’m thinking of you;
Because you’re especially nice to know,
And because I just wanted to !

Happy Easter !!

 
I treat people like chocolate bunnies at Easter!
I bite their heads off.
Happy Easter.

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My little Wish.

Basically, on nights like this I wear my headphones and listen to slow songs that talk about falling in and out of love. They also talk about walking around, and seeing beauty, and getting high. They’re all terrible, but they’re my favorite things to listen to. See, nights like these for me mean remembering you and your smile and your voice and your face and the way you said my name. Nights like these make me wish that I was lying in your casket next to you for the past 5 months. Nights like this makes me wish I was dead because this place sucks without you. And it makes me sad and angry and guilty and happy that you’re gone. I miss you, W. I really do but you’re not here to be here with me and there’s nothing I can do to change that fact. My tears won’t bring you back magically, and my heart hurting more and more everyday won’t bring you back either. Me acting out won’t, and I wish it would. I want to listen to your voice one more time.